He offered a five dollar bill
To take myself to a movie
As if in payment of a bill received
Remittance for the awkward moment
That followed

The shouting

The silence

The slamming doors

The stifled sobs  

At that given moment
It was impossible for me to consider
How the warm summer breeze felt
When he came in the door at five o’clock
And grabbed my mother in a bear hug
And let me stand on his feet when we danced
With the joy of being a family

Later, years later, I can now recall
The lies, the schemes, the let-me-downs
That led to the uncomfortable silence
Between them, between us

He awkwardly added “you know I love you”
I thought, “I do?”
Even now, I don’t know when I heard it
Before then
He hasn’t said it since