you know how it all started with you positively gushing "look arent they stunning arent they incredible" & me all like "no they are so not stunning so not incredible" what was incredible to me was that some ass would build them @all so i added as if a prophet "they wont last nothing golden stays" & off we went in silence stoney silence to the island to relive your mothers angst we both agreed that lady liberty could wait for another day to be truthful i never wanted to see her it was enough reciting the new colossus in yiddish which made your mother cry & then she died before we could make this pilgrimage before you were able to recite kaddish @her grave (so i did it for you) before the mohel removed my nineteen year old foreskin which i offered you from the tip of my tongue & you swallowed it without chewing & exclaimed "yummy for my tummy" it was cold & raining the morning you showed me the towers as if we had never seen them before it was the best part of "our view from brooklyn" you always said a remark to which i never responded i have never been a social climber you needed to be there to fulfill your goal of world domination with a view brooklyn was my familiar out the door & around the corner & down the alleyway between the dumpsters it was there we tricked with cholo boys fuck the view from manhattan this was paradise & the looks we got from the hasidic girls its true we cut dashing figures with our overly wide brimmed fedoras black coats white shirts sharply creased black pants white socks & black shoes we wore the arba kanfot outside our shirts (for affect) with silken gartels about our waists the tassels dangling past our knees even your mother admitted we were a cute pair "just like david & jonathan" she would sigh & then the eternal "oy" she called us her twins but my eyes are blue & even though the girls thought i was cute & funny their fathers still whispered "goy" behind my back @the island we pretended to follow the ranger as he led our group (mostly jews like us) people whose parents remembered coming through this place the same way i remember the mohel slicing the flesh from my cock (i didnt do it for you) we all have birthing pains we all have memories that make us balk the island was cold & it was still raining in those days before the renovations our little ranger was adorable we called him smokey because of his hat he kept giving us "the look" finally we ducked out of the tour exploring together the dark cavernous rooms with holes in the ceilings & the constant drip drip drip of water water everywhere & then he found us & there we were the three of us in our larger than life hats & before we knew it he was sandwiched between us for what seemed like hours of the most serious the most uplifting the most gut wrenching sex you could imagine on the ferry ride home i asked "so was your mothers experience of the island anything like that" you called me a cunt & told me to never mention your mother that way again thats when i saw the beginning of the end within a year we were living apart within another year you were married to a nice hasidic girl & within ten years you & she had three children & me always over for shabbat & finally i left you (remember the night the two of you encouraged me to get married & while she was in the kitchen you kissed me on the mouth & i told you to fuck off) i never entered your home again but she would always call she would always write & it was always about you you you as if there were no she she she as if there had been no me & then i learned you were working in the north tower its the last time i spoke with her the morning she phoned to tell me the towers were in flames well who didnt know that i was watching the news from the living room of a friend over a thousand miles away she was watching from the home we had shared in brooklyn (the one with the view) she cried & cried i did too but for different reasons we watched the towers together until i had to hang up i was watching the footage of people jumping & the horror of it all & then there was the man who executed a perfect swan dive (i knew it was you) the cameraman zoomed in for a close up & we made eye contact & i screamed "i told you so" when you flipped me off i knew it was goodbye in less than an instant you became something like a mass of strawberry jam with real bits of hair & bone & pieces of the very best fabric & i thought to myself right then it wasnt supposed to end like this